Donnie Brown-Hill was awakened by a voice telling her that her husband had an affair.

It’s not the best way any woman wants to be jostled out of deep sleep.

But, that admission is certainly the way to grab the attention of a group of females and that’s the way Brown-Hill opened her presentation at Female Factor at Wednesday at The Studio.

Brown-Hill of Homewood is a certified professional life coach and founder and CEO of Donnie Brown-Hill & Associates, which is a lifestyle design coaching boutique that offers stress and life management workshops, conferences and retreats throughout the United States.

Brown-Hill said the voice that came to her in the night stayed with her until her husband finally admitted the affair.

“I thanked him for telling me the truth and then I told him that I was not going to take responsibility for what he had done,” Brown-Hill said. “I told him that he was not going to make this my fault because he always had a choice. I also had a choice as to whether I wanted to stay or leave. I knew I would have to take responsibility for the role I played in our relationship.”

That was 25 years ago. She made the choice to stay. She accepted the responsibility.

Brown-Hill said that every woman experiences betrayal.

“But betrayals come in different forms,” she said. “Betrayals can be from childhood neglect or sexual, emotional and physical abuse. Betrayals can come from job layoffs, from broken promises, just so many ways.

“We each have been betrayed in some form during our life and have unresolved betrayal wounds.”

How a woman handles – reacts and responds– to those betrayals determines whether she is able to trust again or love again, Brown-Hill said.

“By learning to identify and question the way you communicate and love others and yourself, you can discover how to reconnect, release or renew a relationship after betrayal,” Brown-Hill said. “Learning a new way to talk, remove negativity and expressing caring behaviors toward yourself and others came become a instrument of healing and spiritual growth.”

Brown-Hill said women who have experienced betrayal, no matter the form, can find healing by identifying the source of their distress and which stressors are most prevalent in their lives.

“Distance yourself from those who make you feel stressed,” she said. “Drop any unnecessary tasks that make you feel stressed. Delegate tasks that you don’t have to do to others. Find positive activities, improve your health and get professional help if it’s needed.”

Brown-Hill said it often seems as if one’s life has been broken into pieces.

“Decide which pieces you want to pick up,” she told her Female Factor audience. “You can choose what you want to hold on to and what you want to let go. God’s greatest gift to us as humans is that we are the only species that has a choice. We can choose what is harmony for us. So choose to be happy. Time doesn’t wait.”