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Tony May spoke to the Troy Rotary Club about the pain of losing a child to cancer as well as the financial difficulties a family faces in those trying times. 

Mays and his wife, Ryann’s, first child, Hadley May, was born with rhabdomyosarcoma, a rare muscular cancer. May said initially doctors thought a bump on her arm may have been a bone growth, but asked the new parents to monitor the bump. Nine months later, Hadley was diagnosed with rhabdomyosarcoma. 

May said they were told Hadley had about an 80 percent chance of beating the cancer. But, he said it was hard to fathom a nine month old child being “pumped full of chemo.” May said at 14-months-old, the tumor was not decreasing in size and doctor’s had to amputate Hadley’s left arm. 

“From a father’s standpoint, handing her over that red line to a surgeon was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do,” May said. 

May said Hadley was resilient, and adapted well to a new prosthetic arm. But, he said by that time the bills had started to pile up and the amount the family’s insurance would pay had capped. 

May said they had to sell their home and move into a trailer in Banks. May said the family was facing a six-figure debt and that was when the community came to their aid. 

“That was where the community comes in,” May said “The community really came through for us. I can’t stress enough how God blessed us through this.” 

May said Hadley’s cancer returned in 2005 and doctor’s only gave her a 5 percent chance to survive. 

“Hadley never started getting better,” May said. “On Dec. 7, 2006, her little heart gave out.”

May said two of the leading causes of divorce are the loss of a child and financial debt, both of which the Mays faced. 

“We survived the death of Hadley together,” May said “Little things matter in those situations, but nothing matters as much as people’s prayers.” 

May said Hadley would have been 21 in October. In her memory, May said the family had started the Hadley May Foundation. May said the goal of the Foundation is to help families who are struggling with bills associated with childhood cancer. 

 

Childhood Cancer Facts 

17,000 children are diagnosed with cancer in the U.S. each year

One-in-285 children in the U.S. will go through childhood cancer

Cancer kills approximately 1,800 children in the U.S. each year

95 percent of childhood cancer survivors develop serious health issues by the age of 45

Only 4 percent of federal cancer research funding goes to pediatric cancer research

More than 200 cancer drugs have been developed and approved for adults

Only six cancer drugs have been developed specifically for children, with 29 others being approved for children only after approval for adult use and approval

May recommended some organizations worthy of donations:

To support research, Children’s Oncology Group and Alex’s Lemonade Stand

To support families in treatment, Ronald McDonald House and Smile A Mile

To give blood, American Red Cross and Life South.